Tips
10 Steps to Survive Valentine's Day
Follow these ten simple steps and V Day will be far more enjoyable.
- Avoid going to a restaurant for a meal. They'll be fully booked with couples anyway.
- Wear as much black clothing as possible to offset the pink and red that will be surrounding you. This also has the dubious advantage of making you look like a goth and/or an assassin, which is always good for distracting attention away from soppy couples.
- Stock up on chocolate well in advance, before it all gets melted down, remoulded into heart shapes and sold on for twice the price and half the weight.
- Switch off the television, schedulers generally have no sympathy for single people (alas, I don't have the resources to start Anti Valentine TV yet).
- Rent a non-romantic comedy or action film and watch it whilst consuming copious amounts of ice cream (flavour is up to you, personally I prefer mint choc chip). The non-soppy DVDs page has some useful suggestions.
- Calculate how much your poor male friends have spent on their loved one today. Text/email/call them the amount, and point out that next year they will have to spend even more, lest they be seen to be not as attentive as this year. Laughing manically and with an evil undertone is optional but highly recommended.
- Send all of your friends anti valetine cards, regardless of whether they are single or not. The single ones will laugh, the soppy couple ones might not -- but who cares about them?
- Post your Valentine's Day story to the forums, and share your experiences with other singletons.
- Prepare for Saint Skeletor's Day tomorrow, which is far more important than any Hallmark tosh.
- Link to Anti Valentine from your website/blog/social networking profile and help spread the AV message.